Major Lessons: My Rant About Parent Wars

I have learned A LOT of lessons in the last 11 months or so. I used to think that breastfeeding was a natural and wonderful experience. I now know that for me, lactating was horrible. Not just the pumping thing, which did suck, but the hormone thing that goes a long with lactating. I didn't feel like myself again until I stopped lactating. And I really like feeling like myself. I used to think that formula feeding was bad, poison, evil, lazy on the part of the mother. I now can see the many advantages, and disadvantages of formula feeding. After experiencing both lactating and formula feeding I have to say that both ways really suck (no pun intended). My major lesson learned from all this: having a baby is really hard, no matter how they are fed, it is really, really, backbreakingly, hard work. HARD! Judging other moms based on their feeding choice is just stupid. We are all suffering here, all of us. None of us are sleeping through the night, none of us are feeling or looking like we did before the baby came. The superiority crap that we pull on each other is such a waste of the valuable (ie. scarce) brain power we have at this point in our kid's life.

Another lesson I learned. Cloth diapering is not cheaper than disposable diapering. It can be but I don't know anyone IRL that has actually saved money on CDing. If you only use prefolds and covers, exclusively, then yes you can save money. But if you are like the vast majority of other people in the CDing world then you become an addict. You hunt for the next big/cool diaper and you spend way more money than you should on a poop catcher for your kid, who really, could care less. I know all this because I was a CD addict. I think the addiction is directly related to the lactating hormones, really. Because ever since I stopped lactating I have lost interest in CDing. Probably it has to do with how bad formula poo is, but still I think there is some correlation between CD addiction and lactating. My major lesson learned from all this: it is just a poop catcher for your kid, let the judgement go. We are all Moms and we are all suffering through cleaning up shit all day, ALL DAY!! And again I say, the superiority crap that we pull on each other is such a waste of the valuable (ie. scarce) brain power we have at this point in our kid's life.

And the final lesson I will share is that of humility. I am humbled, everyday, by the sheer mindfuck that is being a parent. I have had my highest highs and my lowest lows in the last 10.8 months. This is hard, really unbelievably hard for me. I love my daughter more than air, but goodness gracious, I sure would like to breath easier sometimes, ya know? I guess my lesson learned here is that no matter what choices we make as Moms and parents, we are all in the same boat. And really, when you think about it, don't you want as many friends as possible in this boat? If you do then I suggest a strict diet of humility, open mindedness, and reserved judgement. Don't alienate the other Moms around you because they made different choices than you. Embrace those Moms, they are real Moms too. Even if they formula feed and use disposable diapers and whatever else you think they are doing wrong. Just freaking love a little more and judge a little less people!!! For fuck's sake!