Fathers and Daughters

My friend Rich wrote a very touching and sweet post about his feelings for his daughter. I left him a comment in response but I want to elaborate. The gist of my comment was this. The way a daughter is treated by her father is directly related to the way said daughter will expect to be treated by her husband/life partner(s).

The window of opportunity for Fathers to influence their daughters self confidence and self worth never closes. Seriously. I am finding this out still. Even though I am grown up, married, and a mother. The way my father treats me, the words he comforts me with, the compliments he gives me, the way he treats Evelyn. All of it still shapes me, my confidence, and my sense of worth. I am really really lucky. Our relationship was not always so supportive or open. My teenage years were spent largely shutting out my dad, we did not speak or see each other. It was really hard. Really really really hard. I remember feeling crushed because my best friend got a rose from her Dad on Valentine's day. At the time I thought I would never speak to my Dad again, I thought he wouldn't walk me down the aisle for my wedding. But, by the grace of God/Allah/Goddess/etc we patched our relationship up. We both made a lot of effort to come back together. To try to begin to trust and share again. And I am so glad for that. I never knew what a difference having the support of my Dad meant to me until I had it in my life again. He loves me in a way that no other person does. That love means so much to me, especially now when I am separated from my Ben and trying to do all this on my own.

So to all you fathers of daughters, keep telling them you love them, keep comforting them, keep yourself available to them. Even if they don't seek you out all the time, just letting them know you are always there for them is HUGE. We daughters are a sensitive lot, we need lots of love and attention.