I Tried...

I tried to be honest with Aidan's family and tell them that part of the reason I am quitting is that communication is bad between us. I left 2 messages, one at home and one on the mom's cell phone.

The mom called back while I was giving Evie a bath and she left me a message. She was upset.

This situation is quickly deteriorating into total shit. I am miserable at the thought of seeing his parents. Mostly because I hate confrontation and no matter what I say they are going to find a way to not accept it.

I wish I could change them, I wish I could make them see what I see. I want so badly to be a good person in this situation.

But I think that ship has sailed. There is no way I can leave this situation with good feelings between myself and the family.

I was so idealistic about this experience, I was so eager and happy in the beginning. I really thought I would be doing this all year.

The first sign that communication and therefore the situation wouldn't work was the first week of school. I took detailed notes about Aidan's behavior and his interactions with the other kids and I gave them to Aidan's mom. I asked her what she thought of the notes and she said it was too much detail and that she hadn't and wouldn't read that much. I should have known right then that this was doomed.

And it has just been down hill from there. But still I am sad and disappointed and angry and...

I don't know. I feel guilty. I feel a lot of guilt. I keep thinking that if I had done things differently that it wouldn't be this way. But the reality is that this couldn't have ended any other way. They can't give me what I want and I can't give them what they want.

And, they are total fucking lunatics that would have walked all over me for as long as I would have let them. They would have continued to treat me like shit for as long as I would have taken it. And grrrrrrrrrrr I am so pissed! And hurt and angry and PISSED!!!